may 13. mark your calendars because that is one day that i (and hopefully you) will be celebrating. what is the significance of may 13, you may ask? well, GRADUATION of course! it’ll officially have been 6 years since my high school graduation, (although i did take a little time off AND transfer schools) but nobody is counting…everyone said not to rush it; i was just taking their advice.

so, if you’re in or around the dfw or want to make the trip, i’d love for you to be there. it’s on a thursday, so ask off of work soon. our pinning ceremony is at 11am and graduation is at 7pm. but if you can’t come, i totally understand. i mean, graduation ceremonies aren’t very fun.

that day is so close, but there is so much to do until then. not to mention trying to find a job. i’m considering applying outside of the dfw area. maybe even outside of texas. shoot, i’ll be certified; just send me to haiti or somewhere overseas. i know what i want to do, but i’m not sure what step the Lord has next for me. the good thing is that i can trust him. he has never let me down, and i’m confident that he knows and directs every step of my journey.

this past sunday @ church, we were reading out of luke ch 2…you know it. it’s always read it around christmastime.  we had just had a skit about the real meaning of Christmas and it kind of hit me unexpectedly. so, during the singing, i just sat in my chair and started to read in ch 1. i’ll write it out. it’s a little long, but there is so much richness and depth in these words, and i think it’s worth it.

it’s zechariah’s (john’s dad) words…

(68-75) Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because he has come and has redeemed his people. He has raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant David (as he said through his holy prophets of long ago), salvation from our enemies and from the hand of all who hate us- to show mercy to our fathers and to remember his holy covenant, the oath he swore to our father Abraham: to rescue us from the hand of our enemies, and to enable us to serve him without fear in holiness and righteousness before him all our days.

(77-79) …to give his people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace.

you should go back and read the whole chapter from the beginning…it’s really an incredible story.

there are so many things the Lord has done on our behalf, and how easily we forget about them and get caught up in things that don’t matter. the birth of our Savior gets replaced by____fill in the blank.  i’m guilty, but i hope that my mind and my heart is constantly reminded of the reason i’m celebrating this Christmas season. He has come! and He has made a way for us! and He is the reason to celebrate!

Merry Christmas to you.

mental illness is something that is very hard to wrap my mind around. unlike many medical diagnoses, many people with mental illness will never be cured. it’s something they deal with for the rest of their lives and it’s not something they’ve chosen. this week for the first time i talked to someone with severe anxiety. he was eating by himself, so i went to sit with him. he was really nice, and started to tell me how he got really anxious around people and had a hard time keeping his food down. his body language clearly showed how anxious he was, and he got this look on his face like he wanted to cry. it was unlike anything i’ve ever seen, happened in a short amount of time, and i can’t imagine what it’s like having to live like that. i left him alone, so i didn’t get to find out much about him. i just thought about how everything we do and say and the way we act can affect somebody. we never know the whole story and what somebody is going through. there is such a bigger picture than what we sometimes see, and what we think might not be a big deal might actually make a big difference in their lives…positively or negatively.

even though mental illness is hard to understand, we do get to see some of them get better and stabilized and get to go home. even though they’re not cured, they are managing their illness and living with it. there is hope, and that’s awesome to see. in everything that’s hard to understand, it’s a part of life that we just have to trust the Lord for. knowing that He is in control of all situations and able to do things that people or medications could never do.

as a future nurse/student nurse, there are certain things i want to accomplish. i want to build relationships, and i want my patients to know that i am there for them. yesterday, i was asked to help feed one of the patients that couldn’t feed herself. she was an elderly woman and alert and knew what was going on, but she was in a lot of pain and had to be really still to decrease the pain, so i went in and fed her. we had a great conversation, and she told me about her childhood, her marriage, children, etc. i really liked her, and as our time together came to an end, i could tell that she was very grateful. she told me that that had been the best part of her day. she wasn’t assigned to me, but i went to say bye to her before i left for the day. she grabbed my hand and just started telling me how grateful she was. i stayed for about 15-20 minutes, and as she talked, i started crying. i’m not going to go into detail, but i think it was the first time i really was able to see how the smallest things you do can make a big difference to somebody who is having a hard day. all i did was feed her and sit & talk with her. her story and her face will stay with me for a long time.  

in other news, i interviewed for a job at a children’s hospital this summer. i feel like it went really well, but i won’t know for a few days.  march madness has prevented me from being proactive in my schoolwork also, however, i’m #1 in my bracket pool, so i’m enjoying that for as long as it lasts. i’ve made some new friends the past few weeks, and i’m excited about getting to know and hang out with them more. after 2 more assignments in my research class, i’ll be done! then i’ll have 2 other classes i’ll be in the rest of this summer.

i have so much to be grateful for, and i’m just enjoying and trying to take advantage of the opportunities i’ve been given. well, that’s what’s been goin on w/ me for the past few weeks. busy, but good.

not a whole lot is new. school is keeping me busy. classes & clinicals. learning a lot. i have a psychiatric/mental illness class, and the clinical part is definitely a learning experience. the whole thing is very unfamiliar. there are some crazy stories from the days. i can’t write specifically about them here because of confidentiality reasons, but i did get proposed to on thursday. some days are harder than others. mentally draining.  one of the hardest things is not seeing change within the short amount of time i spend with them. i’ve heard a few nurses say that some of them will never get better. it’s sad.

honestly, school is what consumes most of my life right now. i’m very grateful to have the people in my life that i do. i’ve made some good friends in nursing school, and there are some amazing women (from church) that pour into me & absolutely challenge my perspective & thoughts on life and situations. i am so grateful to have my brother and sister around daily. they keep me sane and fill my life with fun, laughs, excitement, and stability. there is also a group of 11th & 12th grade high school girls that i get to pour into most sunday nights. they encourage me & i love hearing their hearts and what the Lord is doing in their lives. it’s so rewarding to be able to talk to them about things that matter.

my mom came to visit last weekend. it was so fun to have her here. she’s amazing, and every time she leaves, i’m reminded of how lucky we are to have her. our dad didn’t get to make it, and we definitely missed him, but hopefully we’ll see him soon. it’s encouraging to hear what God is doing in and through them in their community in denver city. i’ve known how much they have to offer for a long time, and i love hearing how they’re being used.

i have a few goals for the rest of the semester: work out! try to go to our connect college group a few times. invest more time & energy into friendships. not so much procrastinating!

there are people getting married, that i would have never put together. there are people who are friends now that would have never been friends in high school. there are people with kids, who i wouldn’t have guessed would have kids at this point.

life flies after high school. i would have never guessed that i would be where i’m at. i’ve loved it. i’ve met so many amazing people & gotten to do some very fun things. everybody’s life is different. decisions are not the same. it’s weird to look back and think that people you grew up with for so long are all over the place now, doing different things, and i have no idea what’s going on with them.

i’m glad that i have the Lord leading me in my decisions and in my life. He’s blessed me with so much. people, relationships, jobs, desires, family, opportunities. so much.

life can be random. it is always changing. but i want mine, no matter where i’m at or what i’m doing, to reflect Christ. who He is in me. and who i am in Him. He makes life great doesn’t He?

glory to you Jesus! YOU ARE KING FOREVER.

i can’t wait. can’t wait to be with family, eat good food, watch football, play w/ little ones, and not think about school for a few days! i feel like i haven’t seen my parents in so long. i love this time of year. i love the weather, the feeling, the food, and time with people you love. it’s so great! it could not have come at a better time. i have much to be thankful for.

I started my first IV in a patient this past Thursday. I was pretty excited. I mean it’s a skill that requires a little more skill than wiping or giving somebody a bath. I really enjoyed it even though I missed the first one and shook the entire time.

Big football game tonight. I kind of struggled w/ who to go for. Tech v. UT…I mean I grew up in west Texas, and by default was a Red Raider fan, but I’ve been watching/going for UT all year. I even went to a game in Austin last weekend. I think I’m choosing UT though, I love the McCoy/Shipley connection! and i love Austin!

Ok, we went to this Halloween party last night, and Alex went as Sarah Palin, and Kollin and I were Mexicans. When we were getting ready, Alex said she didn’t even want to go b/c she wasn’t sure of her costume, but Mrs. Palin was a huge hit and even won best costume (and $16)! I’ll post a few pics for you.

what does today hold you may ask? well, i slept in, and i have to go to the hospital to pick out a patient for tomorrow. look at their history, meds, and know how they act/interact/effect. pretty exciting i think my brother is gonna take me out to dinner tonight though. so sweet.

i had a surprise knock at my door just a little bit ago. a little bday present. i’ll post a picture here because i can’t on facebook. a lot less viewers here. i’m just gonna say, it brightened up my day a little. ok, a lot. i like surprises. i like daisies. what girl doesn’t? it also helps if the delivery boy is really hot!

life is crazy. that is an understatement. i don’t even know where to start.

i’m living w/ my brother & sister now, and it’s so perfect. i love movie nights & sunday football and just staying up hanging out with both of them. we go grocery shopping & out to dinner & take turns washing the dishes. i love having them in my life daily. they’re incredible, and amory is really taking care of us.

nursing school owns me. don’t get me wrong, i love it, and i’m learning TONS, but i’ve had to give up a lot for it. there are many friendships/relationships that have kind of been pushed aside, so that’s hard, but i guess i knew that coming in. i’m getting to know and love some of the girls i’ve met in class and in my clinical group. the studying never ends, and neither will the reading…at least not until december, but it makes the time fly. we have at least one test every week until the end of school except for one…brutal. in the end though, it’ll be worth it. that’s what i keep telling myself.

i almost passed out giving this man a bed bath in the hospital 2 weeks ago. i think it was a combination of hunger, weird smells, newness, and heat. it was a little embarrassing, but i know next time to eat more than half an apple for breakfast. we learned how to give meds & injections in lab yesterday, and we’ll give them in the hospital next week. pretty serious stuff. sometimes i wonder if i’m really cut out for this, then i think of the opportunities to share hope and love with the people and families who have none, and i know that the Lord has placed me here for a reason, and He will prepare me and carry me through anything.

alex and i and another friend of ours are leading an 11th & 12th grade girls small group on sunday nights. i absolutely love those girls. sometimes i feel like i can’t give them as much time as i would like to, but i do love hanging out with them. they’re sweet and fun and funny. i hope what we’re doing is making a difference.

so that’s just a quick update on my life over the past few months. there are obviously tons of details that i’ve left out, but it’s a start. i’ve got to work on a case study and read a few chapters. thanks for reading. i’ll try to update a little more often.

btw…HUGE shout out to a few friends of mine, the kinsleys. they just found out they’re having a baby girl. they will be such incredible parents. congrats liza & chris! can’t wait to meet your sweet girl.

so much has happened the past few weeks. i got in a car wreck the day we left for camp. i wasn’t hurt, but my car definitely was. i went to camp, and it was unbelievable. it was a little different not being on staff, but it was great at the same time.

i learned that what defines a “good camp” is not limited by how well the speaker & worship leader sing or speak, whether or not you are familiar with their names, or how many times you win the spirit stick, but by the way students are challenged and the way that the Lord stirs in their hearts and allows them to grow as individuals and together.

for the first time in 2 summers, i actually climbed on the bus with the same students i had hung out with all week, and i’m so glad i did. i can’t wait to continue to invest in, pray for, and encourage them as they walk out the decisions they have made.

not only did we have a blast and the sickest dance party i’ve ever been a part of, but we talked about things that actually matter, things that have an eternal impact, and things that change who we are and the way we live. i am so grateful to be a part of this church and what the Lord is doing here.

walking through life and hopefully leaving a mark.