catching up 03/29/2009

i feel like there’s a lot going on in my life these days, so i’m not really sure where to start. i’ve learned so much in my clinical rotations this semester. we’ve been going to a psychiatric/mental illness hospital about once a week and a medical hospital about every other week or so. the psychiatric one has not been as bad or scary as i anticipated, but i’ve gotten to see and experience so many new things.

mental illness is something that is very hard to wrap my mind around. unlike many medical diagnoses, many people with mental illness will never be cured. it’s something they deal with for the rest of their lives and it’s not something they’ve chosen. this week for the first time i talked to someone with severe anxiety. he was eating by himself, so i went to sit with him. he was really nice, and started to tell me how he got really anxious around people and had a hard time keeping his food down. his body language clearly showed how anxious he was, and he got this look on his face like he wanted to cry. it was unlike anything i’ve ever seen, happened in a short amount of time, and i can’t imagine what it’s like having to live like that. i left him alone, so i didn’t get to find out much about him. i just thought about how everything we do and say and the way we act can affect somebody. we never know the whole story and what somebody is going through. there is such a bigger picture than what we sometimes see, and what we think might not be a big deal might actually make a big difference in their lives…positively or negatively.

even though mental illness is hard to understand, we do get to see some of them get better and stabilized and get to go home. even though they’re not cured, they are managing their illness and living with it. there is hope, and that’s awesome to see. in everything that’s hard to understand, it’s a part of life that we just have to trust the Lord for. knowing that He is in control of all situations and able to do things that people or medications could never do.

as a future nurse/student nurse, there are certain things i want to accomplish. i want to build relationships, and i want my patients to know that i am there for them. yesterday, i was asked to help feed one of the patients that couldn’t feed herself. she was an elderly woman and alert and knew what was going on, but she was in a lot of pain and had to be really still to decrease the pain, so i went in and fed her. we had a great conversation, and she told me about her childhood, her marriage, children, etc. i really liked her, and as our time together came to an end, i could tell that she was very grateful. she told me that that had been the best part of her day. she wasn’t assigned to me, but i went to say bye to her before i left for the day. she grabbed my hand and just started telling me how grateful she was. i stayed for about 15-20 minutes, and as she talked, i started crying. i’m not going to go into detail, but i think it was the first time i really was able to see how the smallest things you do can make a big difference to somebody who is having a hard day. all i did was feed her and sit & talk with her. her story and her face will stay with me for a long time.  

in other news, i interviewed for a job at a children’s hospital this summer. i feel like it went really well, but i won’t know for a few days.  march madness has prevented me from being proactive in my schoolwork also, however, i’m #1 in my bracket pool, so i’m enjoying that for as long as it lasts. i’ve made some new friends the past few weeks, and i’m excited about getting to know and hang out with them more. after 2 more assignments in my research class, i’ll be done! then i’ll have 2 other classes i’ll be in the rest of this summer.

i have so much to be grateful for, and i’m just enjoying and trying to take advantage of the opportunities i’ve been given. well, that’s what’s been goin on w/ me for the past few weeks. busy, but good.

finally updating. 02/23/2009

i am not good at this. i thought i would be a lot better than i actually am. since i wait so long in between posts, i’ll just summarize what’s going on in my life.

not a whole lot is new. school is keeping me busy. classes & clinicals. learning a lot. i have a psychiatric/mental illness class, and the clinical part is definitely a learning experience. the whole thing is very unfamiliar. there are some crazy stories from the days. i can’t write specifically about them here because of confidentiality reasons, but i did get proposed to on thursday. some days are harder than others. mentally draining.  one of the hardest things is not seeing change within the short amount of time i spend with them. i’ve heard a few nurses say that some of them will never get better. it’s sad.

honestly, school is what consumes most of my life right now. i’m very grateful to have the people in my life that i do. i’ve made some good friends in nursing school, and there are some amazing women (from church) that pour into me & absolutely challenge my perspective & thoughts on life and situations. i am so grateful to have my brother and sister around daily. they keep me sane and fill my life with fun, laughs, excitement, and stability. there is also a group of 11th & 12th grade high school girls that i get to pour into most sunday nights. they encourage me & i love hearing their hearts and what the Lord is doing in their lives. it’s so rewarding to be able to talk to them about things that matter.

my mom came to visit last weekend. it was so fun to have her here. she’s amazing, and every time she leaves, i’m reminded of how lucky we are to have her. our dad didn’t get to make it, and we definitely missed him, but hopefully we’ll see him soon. it’s encouraging to hear what God is doing in and through them in their community in denver city. i’ve known how much they have to offer for a long time, and i love hearing how they’re being used.

i have a few goals for the rest of the semester: work out! try to go to our connect college group a few times. invest more time & energy into friendships. not so much procrastinating!

life… 12/05/2008

life is funny isn’t it? i was looking through some friends on facebook/myspace. friends from high school that i haven’t seen in years.

there are people getting married, that i would have never put together. there are people who are friends now that would have never been friends in high school. there are people with kids, who i wouldn’t have guessed would have kids at this point.

life flies after high school. i would have never guessed that i would be where i’m at. i’ve loved it. i’ve met so many amazing people & gotten to do some very fun things. everybody’s life is different. decisions are not the same. it’s weird to look back and think that people you grew up with for so long are all over the place now, doing different things, and i have no idea what’s going on with them.

i’m glad that i have the Lord leading me in my decisions and in my life. He’s blessed me with so much. people, relationships, jobs, desires, family, opportunities. so much.

life can be random. it is always changing. but i want mine, no matter where i’m at or what i’m doing, to reflect Christ. who He is in me. and who i am in Him. He makes life great doesn’t He?

glory to you Jesus! YOU ARE KING FOREVER.

thankful for thanksgiving! 11/25/2008

my sleep schedule is so off…i think i slept 45 minutes last night. 2 tests in the same day=so brutal. i think i’ve pulled more all-nighters this semester than any other. not a good idea. i don’t recommend it. then i came home today and took like a 5.5 hour nap. now i’m writing a paper for class tomorrow.  but the good news is that thanksgiving is just around the corner!

i can’t wait. can’t wait to be with family, eat good food, watch football, play w/ little ones, and not think about school for a few days! i feel like i haven’t seen my parents in so long. i love this time of year. i love the weather, the feeling, the food, and time with people you love. it’s so great! it could not have come at a better time. i have much to be thankful for.

Happy Halloween…a day late 11/01/2008

I can’t believe it’s already November! Life is good, so busy of course and will be until the semester is over.

I started my first IV in a patient this past Thursday. I was pretty excited. I mean it’s a skill that requires a little more skill than wiping or giving somebody a bath. I really enjoyed it even though I missed the first one and shook the entire time.

Big football game tonight. I kind of struggled w/ who to go for. Tech v. UT…I mean I grew up in west Texas, and by default was a Red Raider fan, but I’ve been watching/going for UT all year. I even went to a game in Austin last weekend. I think I’m choosing UT though, I love the McCoy/Shipley connection! and i love Austin!

Ok, we went to this Halloween party last night, and Alex went as Sarah Palin, and Kollin and I were Mexicans. When we were getting ready, Alex said she didn’t even want to go b/c she wasn’t sure of her costume, but Mrs. Palin was a huge hit and even won best costume (and $16)! I’ll post a few pics for you.

23… 10/08/2008

getting older is a weird thing. you never really feel that much different the day of your birthday, but it’s just this progressive thing that you can’t really stop or slow down.

what does today hold you may ask? well, i slept in, and i have to go to the hospital to pick out a patient for tomorrow. look at their history, meds, and know how they act/interact/effect. pretty exciting i think my brother is gonna take me out to dinner tonight though. so sweet.

i had a surprise knock at my door just a little bit ago. a little bday present. i’ll post a picture here because i can’t on facebook. a lot less viewers here. i’m just gonna say, it brightened up my day a little. ok, a lot. i like surprises. i like daisies. what girl doesn’t? it also helps if the delivery boy is really hot!

october… 10/03/2008

the last time i wrote a blog was in july, so i’ll see if i can remember how to do this.

life is crazy. that is an understatement. i don’t even know where to start.

i’m living w/ my brother & sister now, and it’s so perfect. i love movie nights & sunday football and just staying up hanging out with both of them. we go grocery shopping & out to dinner & take turns washing the dishes. i love having them in my life daily. they’re incredible, and amory is really taking care of us.

nursing school owns me. don’t get me wrong, i love it, and i’m learning TONS, but i’ve had to give up a lot for it. there are many friendships/relationships that have kind of been pushed aside, so that’s hard, but i guess i knew that coming in. i’m getting to know and love some of the girls i’ve met in class and in my clinical group. the studying never ends, and neither will the reading…at least not until december, but it makes the time fly. we have at least one test every week until the end of school except for one…brutal. in the end though, it’ll be worth it. that’s what i keep telling myself.

i almost passed out giving this man a bed bath in the hospital 2 weeks ago. i think it was a combination of hunger, weird smells, newness, and heat. it was a little embarrassing, but i know next time to eat more than half an apple for breakfast. we learned how to give meds & injections in lab yesterday, and we’ll give them in the hospital next week. pretty serious stuff. sometimes i wonder if i’m really cut out for this, then i think of the opportunities to share hope and love with the people and families who have none, and i know that the Lord has placed me here for a reason, and He will prepare me and carry me through anything.

alex and i and another friend of ours are leading an 11th & 12th grade girls small group on sunday nights. i absolutely love those girls. sometimes i feel like i can’t give them as much time as i would like to, but i do love hanging out with them. they’re sweet and fun and funny. i hope what we’re doing is making a difference.

so that’s just a quick update on my life over the past few months. there are obviously tons of details that i’ve left out, but it’s a start. i’ve got to work on a case study and read a few chapters. thanks for reading. i’ll try to update a little more often.

btw…HUGE shout out to a few friends of mine, the kinsleys. they just found out they’re having a baby girl. they will be such incredible parents. congrats liza & chris! can’t wait to meet your sweet girl.

it’s july already?! 07/02/2008

where has this summer gone? i can’t believe it’s already july. i wish i had the time to tell you all of the things the Lord has been doing lately, but there’s so much i have to get done. let me just tell you…this summer has been incredible.

so much has happened the past few weeks. i got in a car wreck the day we left for camp. i wasn’t hurt, but my car definitely was. i went to camp, and it was unbelievable. it was a little different not being on staff, but it was great at the same time.

i learned that what defines a “good camp” is not limited by how well the speaker & worship leader sing or speak, whether or not you are familiar with their names, or how many times you win the spirit stick, but by the way students are challenged and the way that the Lord stirs in their hearts and allows them to grow as individuals and together.

for the first time in 2 summers, i actually climbed on the bus with the same students i had hung out with all week, and i’m so glad i did. i can’t wait to continue to invest in, pray for, and encourage them as they walk out the decisions they have made.

not only did we have a blast and the sickest dance party i’ve ever been a part of, but we talked about things that actually matter, things that have an eternal impact, and things that change who we are and the way we live. i am so grateful to be a part of this church and what the Lord is doing here.

walking through life and hopefully leaving a mark.

 

honored… 05/18/2008

i’ve been thinking about this one for some time now and haven’t had time to write about it. it’s kind of hard to put into words, but try to follow me…

i’ve had some great opportunities the past few summers to be a part of a wonderful ministry. i’ve met so many amazing people, built some lasting friendships, and got to love on & share the gospel with some cool kids/youth leaders. this summer, i’ll be doing ministry but a different area than i’m used to. when, where, or how doesn’t really matter though; i still get to invest in people and share about Christ and things that actually matter.

i had coffee with a friend a few weeks/months ago and after our conversation i was reminded of God’s great love for His people. we see it throughout scripture. love is so central. it’s key. it’s God. my friend was dealing with some things, and i just couldn’t stop thinking about how God genuinely cares. about the small things, about the big things, about all things.  He’s gone out of His way, above & beyond everything we deserve- so that He would be our God and we would be His people. out of love.

my dad said something to me the other day about how he’s realizing that his ultimate calling is to be a servant. it’s pretty simple, i know, but so true. we’re called to serve. we’re called to love.

to love the people that God loves so much. it kind of struck me: we’re called to love the same ones that He loves. not that we could ever do it the way He does, but still. for the first time i saw it as an honor. it’s kind of hard to explain and put into words. if you know what i’m talking about, think about it- God calls us to love in person, in flesh, daily, the same ones that He sent His Son to die for, to rescue, to bring life and hope to.

what an honor!

 

lately… 05/08/2008

i have one final left, and i’m steadily progressing. since i feel like i might actually get some sleep tonight, i thought i’d take some time to post.

the other day, a friend of mine was talking about her grades and the amount of time she had put into studying this semester. she has awesome grades because of that. my grades have been pretty good this semester, they could probably be better, but i realized that i really care about relationships and the time i spend with people. to be quite honest, i would never trade my relationships for her grades. i am SO grateful for the people in my life here in arlington. it took a while to find some of them, but it was well worth it. i love walking through and living life with you.

there are also a few couples entering my life that i think i’m really gonna enjoy getting to know. people that haven’t really known me very long but have invested in and accepted me already. you know those people that you automatically connect with and instantly love?

the new ones have made me think about the ones who have been around and how much they have really made their mark on my life. for this post, i’m going to limit my “shout-outs” to a few couples, although couples aren’t the only ones who have made a difference in me. but i absolutely love the idea of two people who love each other and live their lives to love other people. this list of people mean so much to me. i don’t keep up with them near enough, but they’ve made HUGE impacts on my life, what i think, & who i am.

jesse & becky garate: by far the MOST GENEROUS people i’ve ever known. they have lived their lives to invest in people, more specifically students and have done it so well. their relationship is the definition of love, and you are guaranteed to laugh and have a good time when hanging out with them. impossible not to love.

david & meghan azam: my high school youth minister & his wife who are to this day great friends.  once again, a couple who has given their lives to genuinely care for others. they make a mean cup of coffee, host fun game nights, have comfortable couches, and aren’t afraid to open them up to share. i’ve had some of the greatest conversations. they are expecting their first child. they will make fantastic parents.

chris & liza kinsley: this is the couple that made the biggest impact on me when i moved to birmingham. they would have me over & we would  just hang out. in a place that was so far away from home, they opened theirs to me and made me feel so welcome. they are great cooks and two individuals that fit so well together. i admire who they are as people and they way that they give and give and give and give and love.

 coby & jennifer colley: coby was my college minister my freshman year in college & jennifer led a small group in the dorms. these people know how to have fun. their hearts are so pure and they are some of the most welcoming people i know. great friends. my only regret is the amount of time we got to spend together. wish there was more. they are also expecting their first baby. so excited for them.

andrew & katharine farley: talk about impact! drew is the pastor of lubbock bible church, which is a place where i would say i experienced the majority of my growth as a believer. people who really care about who you are and making sure you understand who that is as a follower of Christ. oh the impact that will make! katharine can cook unlike anybody else, and they also opened their home on sunday nights for college students to have dinner and partake in a bible study that i would put up against any other. (not that it’s about whose is better, but this was SO LEGIT) if you live in, around, or ever visit the lubbock area, check them out here: www.sundaymorning.us

jerod & april morales: jerod is my cousin and april fit in the moment we met her. i think that the first time we met her a few years ago we played popcorn games in my living room til 2am and fought against jerod- brazilian jiu jit su style (sp). yes, the girls won. every time i hang out with them i am encouraged by their relationship, love for the Lord, and for other people. like a few other couples, they will be having their first baby soon, and i think it’s just wonderful.

i know there are TONS more. you know who you are if you’ve affected me. just wanted to say thank you, it means so much. the list is currently growing…